Getting people’s ‘real’ opinions and feelings matters

July 4, 2022
What a person thinks - right or wrong - is a fact to that person and must be considered as such.

I have been working closely with 5 Leaders in an organisation practicing the skill of leading. When working through Step 1, ‘Get the facts’, of the Job Relations pattern for handling a people problem experience shows the easier parts are obtaining the record (what you know up to now) and rules and customs. Both are critical no doubt, but there is tremendous skill in the ability to talk with individuals concerned and get opinions and feelings. Without these you can’t have the whole story, which then makes steps 2, 3 and 4 very risky as they are not based on a solid foundation of facts.

In Job Relations training the ‘tips’ to obtain opinions and feelings are captured and discussed. These are great; however they stay in the participant guide unless they are practised. We can all develop ability in getting people’s real opinions and feelings so if you’d like to hone your skills, please try what follows:

  1. Review the questions below and choose one.

Getting people’s ‘real’ opinions and feelings matters -

2. Pick a person to have this conversation with. (TIP – start easy).

3. Review (print if you can) the Opinions & Feelings tips (below). Try and use all 6 tips to guide you during the conversation.

Getting people’s ‘real’ opinions and feelings matters -

4. Get the persons opinions and feelings on your chosen question.

5. After you’ve done so, thank the person, then answer the following 3 questions.

Q1- With 0 being terrible and 10 being awesome rate yourself in how you believe you went with getting the persons opinions and feelings.

Q2- There are 6 tips to obtain Opinions & Feelings. Identify which one(s) you struggled with and establish why. (TIP – It may be beneficial to quickly write these down.)

Q3 – With the 6 tips in mind, what would you change to give yourself a ‘higher’ self-rating score? (TIP – it may be beneficial to quickly write this down.)

Remember practice makes perfect permanent.