They were telling me about a recent obstacle encountered. As they were telling me about the facts the individual had paused mid-sentence, so I … filled the gaps. At the time I thought nothing of it. As I drove home and reflected, I realised they didn’t finish, they hadn’t told me about what they were going to do. This was the direct effect of me interrupting. My intentions had come from a good place. They paused, I saw the opportunity and pounced. They were telling me about something that was important to them and BOOM I had then made it about me … quick as a flash!
I had gotten this person to a place where we were having a great conversation. They had trusted me enough to start to tell me about their obstacle/problem. I then interrupted and told them about mine.
Richard DeCrespigny, Qantas pilot and author of the exceptional leadership book ‘Fly’, wrote in the front of the book he sent to my business partner Oscar – “Trust is built with teaspoons and destroyed with shovels.”
I didn’t see the person the following day, so I called them to ‘re-start’ the conversation and to follow up. But, although we had the discussion, I had lost the moment.
I’m aiming to recognise the pause in a conversation next time, then let whomever I’m talking too continue.